


Home for the Non-Holidays

by CrunchySalad



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:31:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrunchySalad/pseuds/CrunchySalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jarvis (the human one) is visiting Tony for the weekend. Pepper has warned the Avengers that Jarvis never approves of anybody except for Rhodey, but the gang takes that as a challenge to do their best to impress him. Rhodey himself isn't particularly looking forward to the weekend, for reasons that are related to the fact that Jarvis is always pushing him to make an honest man out of Tony, despite the fact that they aren't actually together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home for the Non-Holidays

**Author's Note:**

> It's recommended (but not required) that you read [the prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/5102.html?thread=5794798) (which is basically a ficlet in itself) for this fic first. Since human Jarvis has never been introduced into movieverse I modeled his personality mostly on Jarvis from Iron Man Noir, since it seemed to fit the prompt.

Jim Rhodes was already getting a headache. It might have been from the planes flying overhead as he sat on an airstrip in his helicopter, but he suspected it was more in anticipation of the coming weekend. Spending small amounts of time with Tony could be hard enough to begin with; spending the whole weekend with Tony and the man who was Tony's family was a trial in frustration. He loved Tony, he did. And he loved Jarvis. But spending time with the two of them brought up things that he'd rather not think about.

His phone started to play Pepper's special ringtone, and he barely had time to say hello before she was half-shouting at him.

"What's the E.T.A.? How much time do we have until he gets here, exactly? Oh, God, he's not there with you right now while you have me on speakerphone, is he?"

"Relax, Pepper, he's not due to land for another half hour."

"Relax. Easy for you to say, Jarvis actually likes you. Meanwhile I'm supervising the very discreet cleaning crew that Fury sent over to dust every corner of Tony's workshops, making sure Tony has nice clothes for when he comes out of shower, and explaining to Thor that Jarvis is not a magical physical manifestation of JARVIS." JARVIS was said in a tone that was half-robot and half-Tarzan of the Jungle, but then Pepper never had been great at doing voices.

"The other Avengers haven't amscrayed?" Rhodey asked. He would have, if he could do it without feeling like a heel.

"No. They are convinced that they can get Jarvis to like them, even though I told them that he hates everyone. Except for you, of course."

"Yeah. Lucky me." He was only being partially sarcastic.

"When he gets here, maybe you can take him on a tour and show him all the changes that have happened to Manhattan since his last visit. Anything to give me a little more time. Please?"

"You got it, Pep," Rhodey said. "I'll do my best."

"I love you, Rhodey. I honestly do. And now I'm going to hang up and go back to the million other things I need to do before Jarvis gets here, so I'll see you soon."

"Later."

As Rhodey sat there to wait, his mind drifted back to the first time he had met Jarvis. He and Tony had been post-coitus, tracing fingertips over each other's skin as they laid beside a huge fireplace in the Stark mansion. Apparently they had been trying to recreate the most clichéd love making scene of all time. No one was supposed to be there, but then Jarvis had come through the door like a storm. At the time Tony had been barely legal and Rhodey had been deeply closeted. Not to mention Rhodey had already heard stories about Jarvis and they weren't exactly comforting. Still, Rhodey had ignored the cold, empty fear that had gripped him and had stood up and held out his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," he had said. "I'm Jim Rhodes, Tony's boyfriend."

Jarvis' face had been unreadable. He had looked from Rhodey, with his head held high, over to Tony, who was beaming at Rhodey, and then back at Rhodey again. Then, to Rhodey's immense relief and surprise, Jarvis had smiled and taken his hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Jim."

To this day, Rhodey wasn't sure what had made Jarvis accept him so easily, but at the time he hadn't questioned it. He had been too happy back then. Tony had made him that happy.

Rhodey shook his head, as if to clear those thoughts from taking hold. That was all in the past, anyway.

It wasn't long until a Stark Industries private jet coasted to a stop nearby. The door opened into a small staircase and out stepped Jarvis, big and familiar and taking up more space than his body should have allowed. The man was dressed like he was going on safari in matching khaki shirt and pants, his face was half-covered with thick sideburns connected by a bushy moustache, and he strode toward the helicopter like he was leading a battalion of troops. A regular British Ambrose Burnside.

Rhodey jumped out of the helicopter with a smile. "Jarvis!"

"Jim!" Jarvis laughed as he caught Rhodey up in a big bear hug. "It's so good to see you, my boy."

They made small-talk about everything and nothing (how Mrs. Jarvis was coping with her husband's retirement, how an ex-pat from Maryland was trying to introduce lacrosse in Jarvis's hometown, what not-so-secret projects Rhodey was working on at the moment) as they got into the helicopter and took off. It was easy to talk to Jarvis, it was always easy, even as the conversation turned to more serious matters. A tour of everything that had changed in Manhattan mostly meant a tour of buildings that had to be rebuilt after the Chitauri invasion, and Jarvis spent most of the time talking about how an inventor with no combat training shouldn't be flying around trying to save the world. Still, as much as Jarvis complained about it, Rhodey didn't miss the hint of pride that colored his words.

"And what about all this flotsam and jetsam floating about my Anthony," Jarvis said. "I hear they're living with him now. I have a hard time believing that such freeloaders could actually be heros."

"Well, it's not entirely true." Rhodey mentally apologized to Pepper as he turned the helicopter and set back toward Stark Tower. There was only so much he could stall. "Bruce has his own floor, but you've known that. Steve's there because his apartment's being fumigated. The others have rooms and come and go, but they have their own places to be."

"I suppose that makes it marginally better. And when will you be moving in?"

Luckily Stark Tower had been very close by, and Rhodey could pretend to concentrate on landing instead of answering the question. As soon as they were off the helicopter and inside the raised bar area of Tony's unnecessarily spacious living room, JARVIS's voice came through, its accent more posh and its tone more smooth than its namesake.

"Good afternoon, Master Edwin."

"Junior," Jarvis greeted, his tone affable enough. "Have you been taking good care of our Anthony?"

"Always."

And if an A.I. could sound fond of something, JARVIS definitely sounded fond of Jarvis. But then, considering it was Tony who had programmed him, it wasn't at all a surprise. At that moment Dummy came beeping and whirling up to them, and Rhodey had to smile as it kept bumping its arm into Jarvis in an approximation of a hug.

"Hey, you! No, not you, You, I mean Dummy. Get away from him. Don't make me regret bringing you here from Malibu."

Dummy made a buzzing noise and lowered its arm like a scolded puppy. He rolled out of the way just in time for Tony to glomp onto Jarvis, Tony's feet almost lifting off the floor as Jarvis pulled him into the hug.

"Jarvis! How come it's been so long between visits this time? I was beginning to think you didn't love me anymore."

Jarvis laughed, a loud, boisterous noise. "What nonsense are you saying? And I would have come sooner if I had known how skinny you were getting. Why are you so skinny? Has Ms. Potts not been feeding you?"

"That's not actually in my job description," Pepper said. She was standing tall and stiff a few feet away, already looking tired. She was also summarily ignored by both Jarvis and Tony.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked. "I've put on five pounds since you were last here. I've been hitting the gym, staying fit. Being the best Iron Man I can be."

As Tony and Jarvis exchanged greetings, Rhodey took in what Tony was wearing. A shiny black button-up shirt, sleeves rolled elbow-high, and black and purple vertical-striped pants. Rhodey looked over at Pepper with an eyebrow raised, but she just shrugged and rolled her eyes. Well, at least Tony wasn't in a jogging suit or a t-shirt and old jeans. And it's not as though Jarvis cared what Tony wore, as long as it kept him warm in the cold and cool in the heat.

"Come on," Tony said, disengaging from the hug but wrapping himself around Jarvis's arm. "The other Avengers are dying to meet you."

The other Avengers were already there, clustered at the bottom of the open staircase in a way that almost made Rhodey laugh. Steve was in his military uniform. Bruce and Clint were dressed like they were going out to eat at a formal, jackets-only restaurant. Natasha was wearing a dress that would have looked more fitting on a 1950s housewife than a lethal superspy. And Thor had his hair in a ponytail. Rhodey wondered if they were approaching this as an Avengers mission. Objective: Win Edwin Jarvis's approval.

Tony pulled Jarvis down the steps and stopped in front of the others, who were all now standing with impeccable posture. Rhodey followed close behind. He did not want to miss any of this. Apparently Pepper had the same idea, as she trailed just a little bit behind the three of them.

"This is Steve," Tony said. "Or Cap, as we like to call him. Cap, Capsicle, Winghead, he's a man of many nicknames."

Steve held out his hand and smiled. "It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Jarvis."

"The Star-Spangled Man," Jarvis said, even as he shook Steve's hand. "I was in her majesty's royal air force when you came to put on a show for us. What some jingoistic American in shiny tights was supposed to do for our morale, I'll never know."

Steve's smile faltered for just a second. "That wasn't a high point in my military career."

"No, no, of course not. I heard after that you abandoned fighting nazis to take on some splinter group? Shame you couldn't help us win the war against Hitler and Mussolini."

Steve's smile was extremely tense at this point. "Yes, well, sometimes duty calls in unexpected places."

"I'm Natasha," Natasha said, leaning over just a bit to diffuse the tension between the two men. She had her most charming smile on.

Jarvis was not impressed. In fact, he frowned a little bit as he looked over at her. "The liar. Anthony told me about you."

"Oh!" Tony pulled Jarvis down the line, no doubt excited for him to meet his latest prize employee. "This is Bruce. He's amazing. Already we've filed twenty-three patents based on concepts he's drawn up-"

"You what?" Bruce asked.

"-luckily, all those science smarts don't translate into negotiating a favorable legal contract." Tony turned to Bruce, who was frowning at him. "Kidding! Kidding. Well, not really, but you're going to be an extremely well-compensated man, so don't worry that sweet little head off."

"Dr. Banner," Jarvis said, interrupting Tony. His frown grew as he looked over Bruce. "I saw you rampaging around New York as a giant green beast. I'm not exactly happy about the fact that you live on the floor just below Anthony."

Bruce looked as though he agreed. He kind of nodded and crossed his arms awkwardly as he looked generally sheepish. "If it helps, we're taking every precaution, and I've mostly been able to control. . . my condition."

"Hmph. And if that weren't enough, I hear you've been keeping Tony up all night on all manner of scientific exploits."

"Oh, come on, Jarvis," Tony said, "you know I'd be up anyway. At any rate, meet Thor."

"Tis an honor to meet you." Thor had a big, bright smile on his face as he bowed his head just a little bit. "Anthony tells us that you were once a valiant warrior of no small renown."

Jarvis turned his head toward Rhodey and dropped his voice to a still-audible whisper. "Is this the insane fellow who thinks he's an alien God?"

Rhodey nodded. It was close enough. At any rate, they were in front of Clint now. Rhodey held his breath as he wondered whether Jarvis was going to bring up the fact that Clint had almost led them all to their demise. Luckily, while Jarvis could be ornery with the people who got close to Tony, he wasn't cold-hearted.

"Are bows and arrows even an effective weapon in this day and age?" he asked, nose scrunched up in distaste.

Clint's answer was short and concise. "I hold my own."

"I find that rather hard to believe," Jarvis said.

Pepper cleared her throat. "Now that greetings are out of the way, why don't we all sit and have a few drinks?"

Rhodey heard Pepper mumble "God knows we need them" under her breath as her heels clicked toward the bar. The Avengers settled themselves in rather stiff, awkward positions around Tony's low table. Natasha and Clint leaning against the edge of a table, Cap sitting in an almost futuristic chair that didn't look all that comfortable, and Bruce yoga-style on the floor. Tony and Jarvis were sitting on the couch, Tony so close he was almost in the other man's lap. When Thor came to take a seat next to Tony, Jarvis shooed him away.

"Jim," Jarvis said, "take a seat here, won't you?"

Thor blinked and took a seat on the arm of the sofa while Rhodey sighed a little bit inside. Jarvis and Tony were both smiling up at him, but he definitely noticed little frowns on everyone else's faces. Apparently he was interfering with their plans to garner Jarvis's approval. Still, what could he do? He sat down on the couch and waited as Tony shifted to sit more at equal lengths from both of them.

"So," Steve said, leaning forward and clasping his hands together, "how long are you staying, Mr. Jarvis?"

"Just until Sunday, when I thought Anthony and I could fly to Guatemala and get in some big-game fishing. Jim, won't you come with us?"

"Of course he's coming." Tony turned the force of those big, shiny brown eyes on Rhodey. "You're coming. We haven't hung out since. . . oh, wow, you're definitely coming along because I can't even remember the last time. And after what you said when I asked you to come to Monaco-"

"Umm hmm. And what did I say, Tony?" Rhodey remembered what he had said, of course. The whole "hanging out with you is bad for our friendship" thing that was said in half-tease, half-anger, and a part of him felt bad about it but another part of him still thought that Tony had been being a dick at the time. He had only found out later that Tony had been acting out because he had been dying, and when Tony had let loose that revelation Rhodey had instantly turned around and walked out, too mad to even look at him.

Three times Tony had almost died on him. The first time Rhodey had never given up hope; he had still kept looking, always, forever, scanning empty sand dunes even as everyone around him told him it was over. The third time Rhodey had only found out after the fact, sitting in a room at Bagram Airfield and catching up on news reports of the Chitauri Invasion from back home. The second time, though, was the worst. Because the second time, Tony had known. He had known he was going to die and he hadn't told Rhodey a damn thing about it.

In the present time, Tony was no more contrite than he had been back then. He looked away, tilted his head up, and let out a little huff. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm still working that incident out with my shrink, thank you very much."

Someone changed the subject and Rhodey tuned out the small talk as Pepper came back with a tray of beautiful etched glasses full of amber brown liquid. A lovelier sight he could not hope to see. He smiled at her in appreciation as she handed him one of the fuller glasses, and she nodded in return. Good old Pep. The timing ended up being perfect, because by the time he had finished up his drink and grabbed another, he realized that they were talking about him.

"What's not to like? Jim's a younger, slightly less handsome version of me. We both served in the air forces of our respective countries, we're both engineers, and we both spend more time worrying about Anthony than we do about ourselves." Jarvis turned Rhodey. "So what are your thoughts, Jim?"

Rhodey's eyes looked over Tony, who was shifting in his seat a little and conspicuously not looking at him. "I'm sorry?"

"'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' has been repealed and gay marriage is legal in New York. Don't you think it's time you made an honest man out of my Anthony?"

Ah, so it was starting in earnest now. At least the other Avengers were looking at him with various degrees of sympathy, now that they had figured out the extent of Jarvis's attempts to play matchmaker. Rhodey tried to keep his answer casual and teasing. "Not sure how happy my ma would be about that."

"I've heard her views on interracial dating have mellowed with age. Surely her views on sexuality won't be long to follow."

"Doubtful," Rhodey muttered.

"But you two used to make such a lovely couple."

And now it was starting to go too far. He could deal with the teasing and the leading questions, but he didn't want to talk about the past. He didn't even like thinking about it. "Let's not go there, Jarvis. Please."

"Wait," Bruce said. His eyes moved from Rhodey to Tony and back again. "You two used to date?"

"We don't talk about it," Tony and Rhodey said at the same time, Tony's tone carefully light while Rhodey's words were short and clipped.

There was a moment then when no one said anything or did anything other than stare at Tony and Rhodey. It seemed to stretch on forever, until Tony had the presence of mind to interrupt it with a statement that was a little too loud and a little too conspicuous.

"Hey, guys, you know who makes amazing tea? Jarvis. I could really go for some tea right now, actually, if Jarvis would be so kind as to oblige."

"What the hell do you think I am? Your butler?" The words were harsh but the tone was jovial, and Jarvis laughed as he hit Tony on the back. "I taught you how to make that tea exactly the same way I do, so why don't you go make some for everyone? Jim, you go help him. It will give me more time to get acquainted with your. . . friends."

The last word was said with no small amount of derision, but Rhodey didn't waste time checking to see how the others reacted to it. He couldn't get out of there quickly enough. As he and Tony walked into the kitchen he heard Steve bringing up old war stories (poor guy, he didn't really have much else to talk about), and wondered how that would go over with Jarvis.

"Tea, tea," Tony mumbled. He started to rummage through the pantries in a way that made it obvious he had no idea where anything was. Rhodey wondered why JARVIS didn't just jump in and tell him (or just make the tea itself), but then he figured JARVIS might be amused by the idea of Tony making tea for his guests. As amused as an AI could be, at any rate. Even Rhodey had to admit that he enjoyed seeing Tony a little bit frazzled and out of his element.

"Here," Rhodey said, finally taking pity on Tony. "It's here."

He had to stand directly behind Tony and reach around him to open the proper drawer. It wasn't something he thought about when he did it. Close proximity was just something that happened between the both of them, and Tony had always been a person who often indulged in physical touch; part and parcel of being a kinesthetic learner, Tony had said once, but Rhodey wasn't sure that it worked that way.

Still, as much as Rhodey didn't think about it at first, he became all too aware of it as Tony pulled out Jarvis's favorite brand of tea leaves and turned around so they were face to face and only inches apart.

"Not fair," Tony said, and maybe his words lacked the usual spastic quality they usually had. "How come you know my kitchen better than I do?"

"Maybe because you're always sending me in here to get you stuff when you can't be bothered." Whenever he was around, at any rate. He suspected that Pepper or Tony's robots helped out in that regard when he wasn't there; the only parts of the kitchen Tony seemed familiar with were the refrigerator and the blender he used to make his disgusting health drinks.

"You always say you're not my servant, but you always go get me what I want."

"I guess you're lucky you've managed to keep me wrapped around your little finger."

"Have I?"

And there was something just a little too serious about those last two words. Something that made Rhodey step away and Tony stare down at his tea for no good reason. And it was funny, really, looking at Tony, because no matter how many decades had past Rhodey still couldn't help but see the kind of shy, kind of awkward, always charming kid from MIT. Sometimes he wondered if Tony ever looked at him the same way. If Tony ever looked at him and saw the man that he had, maybe, even if just for a moment, cared about as more than just a friend.

And this was why Rhodey didn't like spending time with Jarvis, even if he did like the man himself. Jarvis was a wooden spoon in a pot of soup, stirring up everything that had long since settled to the bottom.

"You need help with that?" Rhodey asked. "When was the last time you actually made tea?"

Tony shrugged and actually swaggered over to the kitchen island. "It's tea. Hot water and leaves, right? Nothing my pretty, pretty brain can't handle. So how do you think the kids are getting along with their new dad?"

"As well as a bunch of red-headed stepchildren can," Rhodey replied.

"But he'll warm up, right? Just like with Pep."

And Rhodey didn't have the heart to correct Tony's rather delusional assumption that Jarvis had grown to like Pepper over the years. Instead, he got out the sugar and milk as Tony prepared the tea, and it wasn't long at all before they had everything on a nice little tray ready to be sent out. To be honest, Rhodey was pretty sure no one was even going to drink it.

"This is nice." Tony had managed to find the demitasse spoons and was currently placing them in neat, perfectly parallel rows on the tray. "A little bit of domesticity in between world-threatening crises. It's like you're the Mother Hen to my Papa Bear."

Rhodey smiled and shook his head. At least it was only teasing. The kind of stuff Tony did all the time, no deeper meaning to it. "Don't start, Tony."

"You know you like it," Tony said with a wink.

The door to the kitchen opened and in glid Natasha, as smooth and as graceful as ever. The little knot in between her eyebrows and the tenseness around her lips, however, betrayed deeper feelings of what must have been irritation.

"You might want to get out there," Natasha said to Tony. "Cap's sense of self-worth seems to be taking quite the beating."

"This I have to see." Tony picked up the tray without even trying to hide his glee. For all they said they respected each other, Tony and Steve still had a strange not-quite-friendly type of relationship. Like siblings who loved but didn't particularly like each other. Rhodey thought it was odd, but he had long been used to "odd" when it came to Tony.

Rhodey hung back as Tony left through the door, not eager to get back in the thick of things himself. Much to his amusement, he watched as Natasha reached deep into a pantry and pulled out a blue bottle with a large 24-karat gold label. Leave it to Natasha to know where Pepper hid the really good stuff.

"Can I interest you in a drink?" Natasha asked, but she was already pouring two glasses. Smart girl.

"Don't mind if I do." Rhodey took his glass in hand and held it aloft, the edge of it pressing against Natasha's glass. "Salud."

"Salud."

Mmm. It was definitely more than good; it was perhaps the best scotch Rhodey had ever tasted, outside of some extreme rarity Tony had once purchased at auction and proceeded to share with him. And maybe it was circumstances that had colored the taste back then, but that bottle had tasted more like money than scotch.

"So what's going on out there with Cap?" Rhodey asked.

Natasha shrugged. "Cap's trying to impress with his wartime missions and Jarvis isn't having it. When I left Jarvis was making a compelling argument that Steve's tactics tend to be stupidly foolhardy at worst and basic common sense at best, and that Steve's only had, let's face it, a few years of actual combat experience. Not suitable material to be leading the Avengers, in other words."

Rhodey cringed. Steve was a big boy and could no doubt handle it, but still. Harsh. "Thank God Jarvis doesn't know about how Cap treated Tony when they first met. He would be tearing him apart right now."

"I kind of like the old man," Natasha said with a small smile, and of course she would.

"Yeah, well, if you weren't so involved in Tony's life? He'd probably like you, too."

Natasha stared at him in that analytical, enemy-spy-from-a-James-Bond-movie thing she sometimes did. It was as unnerving as ever, not that he had really interacted with her that much. He had seen her around enough. He probably knew her better than he did any of the other Avengers save Bruce, who had become something of a presence whenever he came to spend time with Tony at the tower.

"I always thought you two made a cute couple," Natasha finally said.

Not Natasha, too. When would he stop forgetting that the lady was trouble? "Never thought you'd be one for pointless sentimentality, Agent Romanova."

"He doesn't make up random fluffy nicknames for anyone else. He obviously respects your opinion, even if he doesn't follow your advice. He's always trying to get you to spend more time with him."

"Look, Natalie, Natasha, whatever you want to call yourself." Rhodey held up a hand in the universal gesture of 'stop.' "You don't what you're talking about, so let's just stop this train right here."

Natasha looked downward as she took another sip, contemplative. But then she looked up again and Rhodey realized that Natasha was going to say whatever it was that Natasha wanted to say.

"I've never been one for love and romance," she said. "In my opinion, relationships are largely about timing and convenience. Maybe the timing just wasn't right before."

The laugh that escaped Rhodey's mouth was a short, little sarcastic thing. "And you're saying that now, of all times, the timing might be right? Like I said, you don't know what you're talking about."

"I know more than you would think," Natasha said with a shrug, finishing her scotch with a neat, little sip. "It's my job to, after all."

Rhodey watched as Natasha left the kitchen and wondered exactly what she thought she knew about them. She didn't know their past, that much was for sure, because if she did she wouldn't suggest they get together in the present. Rhodey knew exactly where he stood with Tony; Tony had long ago made things abundantly clear. And maybe it hurt a little bit to think about it, but it was fine. He was fine. He was okay with where they were now, and better best friends instead of strangers, even if neither of those options were where he had wanted them to end up.

At some point Rhodey's heartrate had gone up and his chest had felt like it was constricting a little, but once he calmed down Rhodey realized he should get back to the living room. Just as he was about to go the doorbell rang. He decided to take the liberty of opening it, even though he knew that JARVIS would be on top of things. And when the door opened to reveal the caterers for their dinner that night, he decided he might as well take it upon himself to supervise, even if "supervising" really just meant drinking their wine and staying out of the way as they cooked.

But avoiding the issue was never really a sustainable tactic. Eventually the appetizers were done and Jarvis came into the kitchen to throw his arm around Rhodey's shoulders.

"Jim, where have you been? You should have been there to listen to what Mr. Rogers considers strategy; it was good for a quick laugh."

Jarvis pulled Rhodey into the dining area, where he then pushed him into the seat next to Tony. Jarvis took a seat on Tony's other side, of course, and the others were already seated and looking anywhere from vaguely scared (in Steve's case) to very much frustrated (Pepper).

"Why are we having dinner catered?" Jarvis asked. "Could Ms. Potts not make a proper meal for us?"

"Again," Pepper said, through clenched teeth, "cooking for Tony is not actually in my job description."

"I would love to prepare a meal in your honor," Thor interrupted. "Many was the time Volstag and I spent among the kitchen and skullery maids of my home, hoping to partake in meals before they were made ready. You would be astounded by the dishes we learned to prepare ourselves just by watching the chefs at their task."

Jarvis had a dubious expression as he looked at Thor. "I see."

"Great!" Tony clapped his hands together once. "Thor's making a home cooked dinner for us tomorrow! I think that we can all agree that seeing him in the chef's hat and apron I will force upon him is something to look forward to."

One of the servers came by with a fresh bottle of wine, and Rhodey nodded and watched as she poured it into his glass. He mouthed a "thank you" to her as Jarvis turned his attentions on Clint and Natasha, who looked, respectively, confused and even more guarded than usual.

"So I'd like to hear about this S.H.I.E.L.D.," Jarvis said. "And why exactly they keep harassing Anthony."

The rest of the dinner ended up being an interrogation. In between bites of whatever it was they were eating (it all tasted delicious but kind of the same to Rhodey, and he wondered if that had anything to do with all the alcohol he had been drinking) Jarvis would grill Clint and Natasha on aspects of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers Initiative, his questions becoming more insightful and cutting as their answers became more and more vague. By the time desert rolled around, Rhodey was amused but surprised to see that Natasha was actually sweating a little bit.

"I don't think I quite approve," Jarvis finally said, fork digging into the chocolate financier cake that sat in front of him.

Tony, of course, was oblivious as ever when it came to Jarvis, and hadn't even noticed his friends' discomfort. "No, it's cool. S.H.I.E.L.D. can be pretty sketchy but I've got them under control, and it certainly livens up my life. Plus Rhodey's keeping an eye on them."

Relief flooded Jarvis' eyes. "Oh, good, that makes me feel better."

Rhodey wasn't, actually, keeping an eye on them. He just happened to be working on a joint project between the Air Force and S.H.I.E.L.D. that had nothing to do with the Avengers, but he guessed he didn't need to correct them.

"Wii night?" Tony suggested.

"Actually," Jarvis said, "I was hoping I could get a tour of Dr. Banner''s apartment and laboratory."

Bruce's eyes widened a little as he quickly swallowed the cake that had been in his mouth. "Actually, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I have a lot of sensitive mat-"

"What exactly are you hiding?" Jarvis's eyes narrowed as he leaned forward.

"Nothing, it's just that-"

"Or are you living quarters not as secure as you had led me to believe?"

Bruce turned to glare at Tony, who just kind of shrugged back at him. Steve looked like he wanted to say something but was still a little terrified from whatever had happened before. It was Pepper who broke the stalement, with a logical suggestion of, "Perhaps Dr. Banner can just show you all the areas that don't contain sensitive material?"

"What kind of fool solution is that?" Jarvis was practically huffing. "That just makes it easier for him to keep whatever it is he's hiding away from me."

Rhodey decided to try his hand at diffusing the situation. "I think that when Bruce says sensitive materials, he means substances that aren't safe for normal people to be around. Things you'd probably want to keep Tony away from."

"Oh." Jarvis smiled and leaned back. "Why didn't either of you say so to began with? Let's go, a tour of everything else, then."

Bruce and Pepper both looked like they wanted to bang their heads against a wall. As everyone got up and headed toward the elevator, Rhodey took the oppurtunity to grab a bottle of the nearest alcohol and head out onto a little balcony abutting the dining room. When he got there, though, he jumped to see someone had beaten him to it.

"Jesus," he said. "When'd you get out here?"

Clint blinked up at him from where he sat against the railing, legs dangling off the edge. "Came out here ten minutes ago. You didn't notice?"

"No, man. You and Natasha are like cats or something. Freaky ghost ninja cats."

Clint's reply was to hold up a flask and ask, "Bourbon?"

Rhodey decided then and there that he really liked Clint Barton. "Thanks, but I've got my own stuff."

He sat down on a chair, a sleek plastic reclining number that was much more comfortable than it had any right being, and held his bottle up toward Clint's flask. They toasted in silence and each took a swig.

"It's like a dysfunctional Thanksgiving dinner," Clint said.

Rhodey had to laugh because that's exactly what it was. "I guess it is, huh?"

"Never had one before," Clint went on. "I think I kind of like it."

"Even the dysfunctional part?"

"Especially the dysfunctional part."

As they sat there, Rhodey realized that Clint was the Avenger he had probably talked to the least. He didn't know much about the man. Tony had said something about Clint being funny but not as funny as him, but Tony also liked to imagine he was some kind of stand-up comedian. And yet Rhodey remembered that the one time Tony had gotten up on a stage for comedy amateur hour, he had completely bombed. There had been a lot of pizza, ice cream, and comfort cuddling that night.

"You're not interested in hanging out with your friends?" Rhodey asked.

Clint's shoulders slumped forward at the question. When he spoke, his voice was low and dark. "I guess I still don't feel like part of the group. I mean, they were bonding and fighting and getting to know each other while I was helping to kill them all."

It shouldn't have, but the statement and the guilt-ridden way Clint said it made Rhodey laugh out loud. "Man. You all have some issues."

"Hey," Clint said, but he was smiling as he looked back over at Rhodey. "And you don't?"

"My biggest issue?" Rhodey asked. "He's somewhere inside that building wearing purple and black striped pants."

"Nothing from your tours of duty? No PTSD?" Clint sounded incredulous.

Rhodey shook his head. "Nope. Clean bill of mental health, as far as I know."

"Well, lucky you, you well-adjusted fucker."

They were both laughing a little bit now, but Rhodey decided to be a little generous. "If you want, we can trade."

"Hmm. All the shit I've been through in my life for Tony Stark. You know what? Not worth it."

"Yeah." Rhodey chuckled a little bit more, drank a little bit more. "You'd probably be getting the shorter end of the stick with that one."

Because Tony Stark was a pretty awful person. He could be selfish and vain and insensitive. And smart, another voice in Rhodey's head added. The smartest guy he knew. And funny. Even during the bad stand-up act, he had made Rhodey laugh like nothing else. And sweet in entirely unexpected ways, like always calling to tell Rhodey to say "stay safe" whenever Rhodey had to leave the country for an assignment.

"Actually," Rhodey said, his voice soft, "the guy's not so bad."

Clint stared up at him but, thankfully, didn't say anything. Another reason to like Clint Barton.

"Switch?" Clint asked, holding up his flask. "I could use some variety."

"Sure." Rhodey handed over the bottle of. . . Malibu (huh, he didn't even like Malibu) and took Clint's bourbon. It smelled strong but it didn't even burn as it ran down his throat. It just gave him a warm, cozy feeling that settled in the bottom of his stomach. "Good stuff, man."

"Yeah. I swiped it from Stark's private collection, so it should be."

Rhodey wondered if everyone knew where Pepper kept the good stuff. He wouldn't be surprised if Tony was the only one who didn't. He was about to say something when Clint looked up and behind him.

"I should. . . go," Clint said, before standing, taking the Malibu, plucking the flask from Rhodey's fingers, and leaving.

Rhodey turned to watch Clint leave and look at what had driven his new friend off, only to find Tony standing in the doorway with two flutes of champagne and a smile.

"Are we being a Sour Patch again?" Tony asked. He made his way to the chair, where he squished in beside Rhodey, despite the fact that there was a perfectly good empty chair beside him.

Rhodey's arm draped itself quite naturally over Tony's shoulder. His free hand reached to take the offered glass of champagne, which he finished quite quickly and placed to the side. "I'm not sour. And aren't you supposed to be giving a tour?"

"Done. And you know how Jarvis is, he needs his beauty sleep."

"Does he."

For awhile they just sat there, warm and comfortable even with the breeze in the air that night. The view from this little side balcony wasn't as amazing as the one from the outdoor terrace, but it was still nice, and they had a great view of a lot of beautiful buildings. It was late but the city was still so alive, lights everywhere and people thrumming on the sidewalks below, seemingly in tune with the rhythym of the traffic. Rhodey was so caught up in just enjoying the sights and sounds of the city that he didn't notice at first when Tony's hand came up beneath his and Tony's fingers started to tickle his palm.

"I like you drunk." Tony's voice was so close to him.

"Do you?"

"You like to drape yourself all over me when you're drunk. Which is understandable, of course, since I'm completely irresistible."

"Uh huh." Rhodey looked down to see Tony already looking up at him, just inches away and lips slightly parted and moist like they wanted to be kissed. And wouldn't that be a bad idea? He was drunk, Tony was most likely drunk, and they'd never be contemplating this if they were sober and Jarvis wasn't around to stir things up once again. They had never let it get to them before, had always managed to protect the friendship they had developed. Something as simple as a kiss could ruin everything.

But Tony smelled so damn good.

Rhodey closed his eyes and tilted his head and realized that Tony tasted damn good, too. Rhodey had barely pressed their lips together when Tony's hand wrapped around the back of his neck and Tony tried to deepen the kiss. And, oh, Tony could still do such amazing things with his tongue. Rhodey melted into it. He melted into Tony's mouth, so soft and hot, into Tony's arms as Tony wrapped them around him. Tony's hands were under his shirt, somehow, were rubbing paths along his bare back, and this was such a bad idea but he wanted it so much. He kissed back like he was a starving man and all he wanted was Tony, Tony, Tony.

"Tony." It was a half-moan, half-murmur, and he pressed kisses along Tony's lips, Tony's goatee, Tony's jaw and neck. His hands were finding their way underneath that hideous, shiny shirt when they were pushed away and he was pulled to his feet.

They stumbled together, arms and legs meeting and brushing as they made their way to one of their bedrooms, still wanting to exchange kisses to whole time. Before Rhodey knew it they were tumbling into a bed, Tony's bed, and he was pressing kisses down Tony's chest and around his arc reactor.

"I love you," he said, because he couldn't help himself, and as he placed kisses lower and lower downTony's body he couldn't help but repeat it. Desperate variations like _I fucking love you_ and _I never stopped loving you_ , until his mouth was full of Tony's cock and his fingers were up inside Tony's hole, and when exactly had all their clothes disappeared?

Tony didn't say anything. He just sqiurmed underneath Rhodey, hips moving as though they didn't know whether to thrust forward into Rhodey's mouth or backward onto Rhodey's fingers. It was almost too much. This was something he hadn't let himself think about because it hurt too much. It had been years and he was a fool for letting it happen now.

Rhodey kneeled on the bed and pulled Tony toward him, into his lap, legs askew on either side of his waist. He held one hand at the base of his cock and gripped Tony's hip with his other hand. And then he closed his eyes and bit his lip as he sunk forward. He could feel Tony opening up around him, spreading to accomodate him, so tight and hot and soft. It wasn't until he was buried to the hilt inside Tony's body that he opened his eyes, and he froze to see tears coming down Tony's face.

"Tony, oh God, what's wrong?" He tried to pull out but only got about half an inch before Tony's legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him there.

"Don't! Don't you dare." Tony's voice was shaky but low with lust and pleasure. "It's just. . . it feels too good. Your dick inside of me again. Just. . . keep going. Fuck me. Fuck me as hard as you can, Rhodey, I need it so bad."

Rhodey shivered but did what Tony wanted. He started to roll his hips, each little circle eliciting a hitch in Tony's breathing. They were desperate, needy sounds, and Rhodey found himself putting more power into his hips just to hear more of them. Small circles gave way to long and deep thrusts, until he was pulling a good several inches of cock in and out with each one, and every single one seemed to make Tony gasp and squirm and cry just a little bit. Tony was saying his name like a litany and murmuring dirty encouragements like _harder, fuck me harder, hard enough to break me in half_. And eventually Rhodey was, as hard as he could, the slap of flesh against flesh louder than any of the noises either of them were making.

"Stop. Wait." Tony placed one hand on Rhodey's hip, effectively stilling him even as they remained joined together, and moved the other hand to the head of his cock. He barely had to squeeze it before his face scrunched up in pleasure and his dick started to jerk and shoot. Streams of cum came out to leave thin, white trails on his tan skin, until he was spent but still tugging at himself in slow, lazy motions.

Rhodey shifted position and leaned down, forearms on either side of Tony's head. He kissed Tony as he started to move his hips again. And it felt so good, so perfect, because it was Tony and Tony was the one he had never, ever been able to get over. He came swirling lazy circles in Tony's mouth with his tongue, his vision going white and his whole body shuddering as it emptied itself into the warmth beneath it.

It was three a.m. when Rhodey woke up, with no memory of having passed out to began with. His arm was draped over a warm, strong back, and he felt almost nauseated as he remembered what had happened. He sat up on the edge on the bed and put his head in his hands. They had slept together. He had said _I love you_. And of course Tony hadn't said anything back. He knew exactly what Tony felt for him and it certainly wasn't love, and he had slept with Tony anyway because apparently he was an idiot and a glutton for punishment. Rhodey wanted to throw up. He was mad at himself for being weak and mad at Tony for putting him in this position, and he just wanted to get away, didn't want to have to look at the other man.

He got up and walked out the door and right to the elevator. He didn't want to go to his room in case Tony came to look for him, so instead he went down a floor, not surprised when the elevator opened to reveal a soft light coming from Bruce's lab. Everyone assumed Tony kept strange hours but he was actually pretty good at getting to sleep at a reasonable time, unless he was partying or getting caught up in some big project. Bruce, on the other hand, kept the oddest hours of any person Rhodey knew. He took naps throughout the day and night, and Rhodey wondered if the strange sleeping pattern had anything to do with the Hulk.

Bruce was in his lab, of course, glasses on and head huddled over what looked like notes and diagrams. When Rhodey tapped on the doorway he looked up, rubbing at his eyes as he tried to see who was there.

"Hey, Doc," Rhodey said, tired and still somewhat drunk. "Is it okay if I crash in one of your guest rooms?"

"Do I have actually have a say in the matter?" Bruce asked, and Rhodey took that for a yes.

Rhodey shuffled into a spare room and plopped down on his back in the bed, swinging an arm over his eyes. Not a few moments later he heard slow but steadfast footsteps coming into the room and felt Bruce's presence by his side.

"Drink." A glass was pressed into his hand. "You'll thank me in the morning."

The thought of drinking anything made him feel a bit sick, but Rhodey sat up to do as Bruce said. And as the water rushed down his throat, he had to admit that it helped. Afterward he placed the glass on the nightstand and laid back. Bruce was sitting in a chair next to his bed, one hand on his chin, looking at Rhodey like some kind of patient or test subject.

"Are you okay?" Bruce asked.

"No." He had said too much and Tony had said absolutely nothing back to him, and of course that's the way it happened because that's just the way it was. Rhodey couldn't feel more humiliated. No, actually, that wasn't true. . . the day they had broken up, all those years again, was ten times worse than this. This he could work through. He could work through Tony coming on to him because he was a warm body and Tony just wanted to get laid. He could work through the fact that he had accidentally thrown his heart up all over that bed and Tony had ignored it. It was going to be fine. In a day and a night Tony and Jarvis would leave for Guatemala, he would go down to Washington, he'd avoid Tony for awhile and then they could go back to being friends. He still felt lower than shit, but he could deal with it. He had before.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Umm hmm."

And he could see the gears turning in Bruce's head, like the other man was considering what to say, weighing whether or not he should push the matter. Eventually, though, Bruce just stood up and placed his hand on Rhodey's shoulder, giving it a good squeeze.

"If you ever want to talk," Bruce said, "I'm really good at listening."

"Thanks, Bruce." Rhodey watched Bruce leave before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

The second time Rhodey woke up, it was still early but at least the sun was up. He wasn't hungover but he was still just a little bit drunk. Just a little. He crept back to his room, eyes out for Tony the whole time, took a shower, and made his way to the kitchen. Steve was already up, looking like he had just gone for a jog and a shower with his cheeks flushed pink and his hair damp. He was currently leaning against the counter and looking over something on his custom, Tony Stark-designed tablet, a device he had grown to love for its art capabilities alone.

"Hey," Rhodey said.

"Hey." Steve looked up, saw that it was Rhodey, and held his fist up.

And it still boggled Rhodey's mind that _he had taught Captain America what a fist-bump was_ and that _he fist-bumped with Captain America on a regular basis_. Craziness. Sometimes he couldn't get over his life.

"Rhodey, maybe you can help me." Steve's eyebrows furrowed as he held out the tablet. "JARVIS ordered most of the items Thor needs for tonight, but there are some things the service he uses can't provide. I told Thor I would get them for him."

Rhodey took the tablet to see a list of ingredients, some of which he had never heard of. "What are winkles?"

"I was hoping some exotic, modern food, because I didn't know what it was either." Steve offered a small, tight-lipped smile. "I don't think the corner store carries them."

"If I may be so bold to interrupt," JARVIS said, "I have taken the liberty of looking the topic up on wikipedia. Winkles are another name for the common periwinkle, a mollusk that is popular for consumption in various parts of the world including countries in Northern Europe, Africa, and Asia."

"Yeah, well, we can figure this out." This would give Rhodey a chance to be out of the house when Tony woke up; he just didn't feel ready to see the other man right now. "What do you say we make a trip to Whole Foods?"

"I'm not sure I've ever been."

"You'll like it," Rhodey said. He wondered if large supermarket chains were a thing in the 1940s. Rhodey himself had grown up with just small groceries and foodbanks in his South Philly neighborhood; his mom didn't have a car to take them to one of the large supermarkets and it didn't make sense to have to carry groceries over crowded public transportation just to have access to fresher, better ingredients. "Or you'll think it's an example of modern gluttony. We'll see, I guess."

They made their way to the garage, where Rhodey grabbed the keys to one of Tony's cars, and then they were off. As they drove and shopped they had pleasant conversation about what Rhodey was up to in the military, what S.H.I.E.L.D. had Steve occupying himself with, and whether or not either one would contemplate switching organizations.

"I don't understand why S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't try to recruit you instead of Tony when Loki tried to take over," Steve said at one point. "You're already government, you have a suit, and you don't have the attitude problems they feel he has."

"Yeah, well, we're still fighting a war abroad, and during the Loki thing I had my hands full dealing with the Afghan National Security Force. By the time the request came through all the red tape, you guys had already put a lid on it."

Between Whole Foods, Essex Street Market, and Chinatown (where they bought the winkles from an old man who assured them that they were good for virility), Rhodey and Steve managed to procure almost everything on the list. At that point it was lunchtime. Rhodey decided to take Steve to a trendy little automat that had popped up awhile ago, thinking it would be fun for nostalgia's sake, and didn't miss the way Steve smiled at all the little glass doors spread out along the wall. Soon enough they had their food and were sitting outside on a nearby bench, Steve munching on mac n' cheese croquettes and Rhodey working on a grilled cheese sandwich.

Halfway through lunch Rhodey's phone rang, and he picked it up to see Tony's picture and the words "The Starkster" at the top of the screen. Why he had never edited that entry after Tony had put it in, he didn't know. He turned down the volume and put the phone back in his pocket.

"So," Steve said, eyebrows raised just a little bit as he stared at the disappearing phone. "You and Tony. Tony and you. Dating."

"A long time ago."

Steve nodded. His eyes squinted up the way they did when he was thinking about something. "Sure, it's just. . . what exactly did you see in him? I don't mean any offense, and Tony has definite good qualities, it's just. . . "

Rhodey laughed as Steve trailed off. "He's absolutely infuriating?"

"Well, yes." Steve smiled and looked generally sheepish. "But for the record, you're the one who said it."

Not that he had been the first one to ever say it about Tony Stark. Rhodey shrugged and stared down at his sandwich. For all of Tony's bad points and all of his good points, there was something Rhodey had never been able to deny. "He brings something to my life that's missing."

"Present tense?"

Rhodey froze up a little at the question, not realizing he had slipped in that little mistake. But Steve's smile right now was all understanding, and it wasn't so hard to force himself to relax. "That's just the way it is sometimes, isn't it?"

Steve nodded and patted him on the back. "I guess it is."

When Steve and Rhodey eventually stumbled back into the kitchen they were laughing over some joke or the other, and barely even noticed that everyone was there eating. That is, until a cold, rough voice cut through the air.

"And what do you think you're doing with Jim, Mr. Rogers? It seems to me that you two are standing awfully close."

Steve and Rhodey each took a step away from each other at the exact same moment, neither of them wanting to start anything. As Rhodey put his bags down he tried to do his best to avoid looking at Tony or even awknowledging his presence, but that was hard when Tony came up to his side and started talking to him at about a mile a minute.

"So Jarvis said he wants to go walk the Highline, and most of the gang seems really into the idea, so I was thinking we could all do that and-"

"I told Thor I'd help him cook," Rhodey said, still not looking at Tony.

Thor blinked up at him in confusion but, thankfully, picked up enough to know not to say anything to the contrary.

"Oh." Tony sounded vaguely surprised, but that passed with his next syllable. "Well, that's fine, too. I can look forward to a nice, home-cooked meal from the wifey when I get back."

"Tony, just stop," Rhodey said, and maybe his voice was just a litte bit too harsh because everyone turned to stare at him. It's just that it was too much, Tony teasing him like he always did, even after what had happened between them the night before.

Tony's voice was all business when he spoke again. "Can I talk to you?"

Rhodey let Tony pull him into another room that was far away enough that no one would overhear them, and then he was forced to face him, even if all he wanted to do was walk away. There was an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he didn't think he was up for the "What's your problem? It's just sex, it doesn't mean anything, loosen up about it" talk that he was going to get from Tony.

"What's your problem?" Tony's tone of voice was predictably flippant. "Is this about last night?"

And there it was. Rhodey swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to speak. "I think we can both agree that last night was a mistake."

Tony actually looked taken aback for a second. But as quickly as it was there it was gone, and he was back to Tony Stark as usual. "Yeah. Sure. Apparently a big one, considering how you're acting. Don't worry, we can just pretend it never happened."

And it hurt to be brushed off like that so easily, but Rhodey tried not to think about it as Tony turned and went back to the kitchen. He followed after. By the time they were back with the others, everyone was finishing up their lunch and looking as though they were ready to go. Jarvis swung an arm around Rhodey's shoulders and gave a squeeze.

"Are you sure you'll be alright with the alien?" he asked.

Rhodey smiled and nodded. "I'll be fine. You have fun, Jarvis."

After they left to go Rhodey turned toward Thor, who was looking at him with a considering gaze. It unnerved him a little bit. Here was a guy who was possibly thousands of years old and could command the force of thunder, and he was looking at Rhodey like he was trying to figure him out.

"Let's get cooking." Rhodey put some forced cheer into his voice as he started to unload the bags. "What do you need me to do?"

Thor pulled out a sack of potatos with his index finger and dropped them in front of Rhodey. "I suppose you will need to find a small knife to de-skin these potatos."

"Yeah, we've got something better."

It wasn't until they were settled in the kitchen, Rhodey peeling potatos and Thor chopping up some kind of animal with a large cleaver, that Thor decided to breach the topic that had been on his mind.

"I have known my fair share of lovers' quarrels," Thor said, "but I do not understand the circumstances between you and Tony. Do you not care deeply for one another?"

"Not like that," Rhodey lied. "We're just friends."

"Do friends make the sort of noises that sounded from Tony's chambers yesternight?"

Rhodey could feel heat creeping up his neck even as he wondered how Thor had overheard. He wasn't aware that the guestrooms were kept at such close proximity to Tony's bedroom. "Sometimes they do, yeah."

"Tis obvious that you lie. Why do you not embrace what you have?"

"It's not that easy," Rhodey said. This wasn't a topic that he wanted to get into with anyone, let alone the God of Thunder, and he hoped that his tone was curt enough that it would get Thor to drop the subject.

Thor shook his head in disappointment. "You people live such short lives, and yet you content yourselves to waste the little time you have."

As they busied about the kitchen, Rhodey couldn't help but wonder if Thor had a point. But then again, it was what it was. There was nothing he could really do about it.

Dinner was ready by the time the gang had come home, and Rhodey had to admit that Thor was a hell of a cook. There was a banquet laid out on Tony's dining room table that looked like something out of a medieval storybook and smelled delicious.

"Your feast awaits," Thor said to Jarvis, bowing a little as everyone came into the dining room.

"Oh, Thor," Pepper said, hands coming up to her mouth, "it's all so lovely."

The food ended up being amazing. The atmosphere in the room not so much. It was a dreadful, silent affair, the tension and mood between Tony and Rhodey apparently spreading to their friends. As they nibbled on their food and stared down at their plates, neither of them in the mood for conversation, everyone else just ended up watching them.

After dinner, Rhodey was the first one out of his seat. He brought his plate to the kitchen and dropped it into the sink, never mind the fact that the cleaning service would have taken care of everything in the dining room in the morning. He was contemplating whether he should just leave the tower and stay at a hotel for the night when he felt a hand on his back. He turned to see Jarvis standing there, a concerned expression on his face.

"Jim, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Rhodey forced a small smile. "Yeah, sorry, Jarvis, I haven't been very good company this weekend."

"Don't worry about that. I just want to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine."

Jarvis didn't look convinced. "Is this about Tony? Has he done something? I love that boy, but for someone so intelligent he can certainly act a fool."

"No, no, it's not Tony." At least, Jarvis didn't need to know that it was Tony. But, Rhodey thought, he might as well clear the air when it came to Tony and him. Jarvis might not like it, but Rhodey could deal with the fallout. He was a man. He could handle it. He took a deep breath and started to speak. "Although there is something I've wanted to talk to you about for a long time. Look, Jarvis, I'm flattered that you want me to be with Tony, I really am, because I know how much Tony means to you. It really means something for me to have your approval. But you need to back off. Let Tony make his own life decisions and date whoever makes him happy."

To Rhodey's surprise, Jarvis grinned and chuckled at the small lecture. "I've always appreciated your candor, Jim. But you can be as much a fool as Tony."

Okay, now Rhodey was really confused.

Jarvis placed a hand on Rhodey's shoulder and squeezed. "I don't want Anthony to be with you because I like you. I like you because Anthony wants to be with you."

It took several moments for Rhodey to process what Jarvis had said, and once he did he felt like there was a clamp around his chest and it was squeezing tight. He shook his head. "No. No, he doesn't. He made that clear enough back in college."

"Don't you think it's odd that he hasn't dated anyone seriously since you? Pepper was the only one, it took him years to warm up to her as a romantic interest, and they realized they were better off as friends soon enough."

"With all due respect, sir? You're wrong about this."

And then Bruce's voice broke into the conversation. "Why did you two break up, anyway?"

Rhodey looked up to see the Avengers and Pepper gathered in the doorway. They were all staring at Bruce like he had stepped on a landmine, which, for all they knew, he just had.

"What?" Bruce asked, looking around at them. "We were all thinking it."

Rhodey covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head. But then he came to a decision and looked up at all of them. "Okay, fine, you guys all want to know why Tony and me broke up? I'll tell you. Things were great between us, it was maybe the best relationship I'd ever been in my whole life, and then one day I get an invitation in the mail. An invitation to the engagement party of Anthony Edward Stark and Joanna Nivena. So I rush over to his house and I'm standing in the rain like some idiot in an awful romance novel, and when he opens the door I'm practically begging him to tell me that it was a mistake or it was just a business thing that his father was making him go through with. And what did he say? Tell them what you said, Tony."

All eyes turned to Tony, who was currently trying to make himself appear as small as possible up against the wall. His shoulders slumped and his eyes dropped to the floor as he spoke in a dull, listless tone that none of them had ever heard coming out of his mouth before. "That I was the one who proposed to her. That I loved her and wanted to marry her."

Rhodey could feel the pain like it had just happened. The betrayal and the awful, raw feeling that came from finding out the person you loved didn't love you. "We didn't talk for almost a decade after that."

With one exception. Howard and Maria Stark had died a few months after that night. The engagement had been called off. Rhodey had still been hurting but he had known that Tony had been hurting even more, so he had come to the viewing with a bouquet of flowers. He had gone up to Tony when most of the people had left, whispered a tense but sincere "my condolences," and ended up with his arms full of Tony as Tony had clung to him. Rhodey had held him until Jarvis and Obie had pulled him away to take care of something for the funeral, and that had been that.

"Sorry, guys," Rhodey said. "I think I'm going to call this an early night."

He made his way back to his room, all the while contemplating whether he should leave or stay. He had promised to take Tony and Jarvis to the airport tomorrow but there was no reason they couldn't just cab it, or even get a pilot that was actually on Tony's payroll to do it. And he felt bad about skipping out on Jarvis, but he really didn't want to be in Tony's home right now. Not when everything around him was making him think about Tony.

Rhodey was in his room just staring at his duffel bag for several minutes when the door opened. From the click of heels and expensive but tasteful perfume that filtered in, he didn't have to turn to see who it was, so he just stood there as arms wrapped around him.

"I'm so sorry, Rhodey. I never even knew."

"It's fine, Pepper. Water under the bridge." Except he still felt like he was drowning. Still, he leaned into the hug and wrapped one arm around Pepper's thin frame. It was strange how they should have been rivals, in a way, but instead their friendship had almost built itself around taking care of Tony together. And he had never begrudged Pepper a relationship with Tony, mostly because he liked her and felt that she had been good for him.

"How on Earth did you two become friends again after that?" Pepper pulled away, though she kept her hands around Rhodey's biceps. Her expression was mostly concern and partly curiosity, and Rhodey didn't begrudge her that either.

Rhodey shrugged. "As soon as I was high up enough in my career to be considered, Tony insisted that he wanted me as Stark Industries' military liaison. I wasn't really in a position to turn the assignment down. We worked it out, mostly by ignoring what we used to have in the first place."

Pepper sighed and started to brush nonexistent lint off Rhodey's shoulder. "Really. What a mess we all are."

Pepper hugged him again then, her arms around his neck, and he closed his eyes and hugged her back. It was so odd how comforting such a simple touch could be. They were still stuck in that moment when someone coughed to get their attention, and Rhodey looked up to see Natasha standing in the doorway.

"He was lying, you know." There was a frown on her face but what might have been a fond glint in her eyes. "About his fiancée. But apparently you're as much as an idiot as he is, so maybe you won't believe me."

And with that she turned to leave, disappearing almost instantly into the darkness of the hallway. Ghost ninja cat, Rhodey thought to himself.

"I should go." Pepper patted his shoulders one last time before pulling away. "Early meeting tomorrow. Are you going to be okay?"

"I always end up okay," Rhodey said. "You don't need to worry about me."

Pepper smiled and nodded, then waved a little bit as she walked out of the room. "Bye, Rhodey."

"See you soon, Pepper."

After Pepper left Rhodey sat down on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. His thoughts turned to what Jarvis had said, what Natasha had said, and everything he had ever felt about Tony Stark. He was debating what exactly he should do about it when a voice filled the air.

"Master Rhodes," JARVIS said, "while I'm not supposed to disturb Master Stark's guests in their rooms, I thought it would be quite remiss of me if I didn't tell you that Master Stark is now back in his room and he seems to be quite depressed."

Rhodey closed his eyes. He considered telling JARVIS to get one of the other Avengers, but realized there was no way he wouldn't be there if Tony needed him.

"Okay," he said. "I'll head on over."

"Thank you, Master Rhodes."

The walk to Tony's room was too short no matter how slowly Rhodey walked, and when he got there he found Tony spread out on the bed on his back. He looked tired, just like how Rhodey felt. Rhodey went and plopped down next to him. And there they both were, laying side by side and staring at the ceiling, both of them unsure of what to say.

"Natasha thinks you were lying," Rhodey started.

"That's rich, coming from her." At least Tony didn't sound any worse for wear.

"Were you?"

"About what?"

"About why you got engaged to Joanna."

There was silence, for awhile, and then the sound and feel of Tony shifting beside him. "I thought we were pretty good at keeping our relationship secret, but then I overheard some of your friends talking about us. Just speculation, but the last thing I wanted was for people to find out and make your life more difficult. I didn't want your military career to end because of me. I didn't want your parents to disown you because of me. So when Dad set up that engagement, I thought it was a good excuse to let you go. To let you have a better life. The life you deserved."

There was a hand on his chest, and then Tony's face filled his field of vision. There was a frown tugging at Tony's lips and his eyelids were draped low over his eyes. He was so much older than he used to be, they both were, but Rhodey still saw that young man he had fallen in love with in every inch of who Tony was. He reached up and brushed his hand over Tony's cheek.

"This is the thing I hate the most about you," Rhodey said. "You're always closing off and making all these decisions by yourself. Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"I couldn't. You're too good a man. You wouldn't have been able to see that a guy like me would only drag you down."

"Stupid. You're the stupidest genius I've ever met."

Tony leaned down and caught Rhodey's lower lip between his lips, tugging at it in a not-quite-kiss, before collapsing and burying his face in Rhodey's neck.

"Rhodey," he said, against Rhodey's skin. "I fucking love you. I never stopped loving you."

Rhodey's eyes clenched shut as he wrapped his arms around Tony. "You're such an asshole."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Rhodey's hands rubbed and massaged their way over Tony's back, over knotted muscle and thin scars, all those little pieces of evidence that Tony Stark was Iron Man. He held Tony like that until they both fell asleep, tired beyond belief and emotionally drained.

The next morning, everything seemed better. They were well-rested and things seemed almost fresh and new in the early morning light. They flirted as they brushed their teeth, helped each other shave, and then jumped back into bed again to snuggle under the blankets for as long as they could. It was like that weekend in Cape Cod only it was better because it was now, and it was strange how easy it was to pick right back up from where they had ended. Like that unbearable happiness had only been dormant all this time, waiting for a few of the right words to make itself known again.

Not to mention, when they stumbled downstairs for breakfast, Jarvis could not have been any more ecstatic to see them together. He even stopped hounding Bruce about getting an apartment away from the tower and Pepper about the amount of money she spent on the "awful excuse for art" that decorated Tony's homes. Breakfast was actually a rather pleasant affair, all the Avengers joking around and just having fun. It seemed like it was too soon when Rhodey found himself at the airport, saying goodbye to Tony and Jarvis.

"I'll come back to say goodbye after Guatemala." Jarvis squeezed Rhodey's shoulder as he got out of the helicopter. "We'll spend some quality time together, without that riffraff."

"I'll look forward to it," Rhodey said with a smile, before turning to Tony.

And if he couldn't stop smiling, Tony hadn't been able to wipe that dopey grin off his face.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with?" Tony asked.

"I have to work."

"I could make some phone calls."

"You know, they don't actually like it when you do that." Before Tony could answer, Rhodey leaned forward to give him a kiss. Then he nodded toward the private plane that was waiting on the tarmac. "Go on. Have fun fishing. I'll see you when I get back, I'm sure we still have a lot of stuff to work out between the two of us."

Tony's smile only grew. "But we'll be working it out, right?"

"Yeah," Rhodey said, his voice almost soft. "We will be."

One more kiss and then Tony was leaving. He and Jarvis stopped one more time at the entrance to the plane in order to turn back and wave, and then they disappeared inside, and Rhodey watched as the plane took off and left. He took a long, drawn out breath before taking off himself. He should get the helicopter back to Stark Industries' Long Island division. Before he made it very far, though, his phone rang, the Star Spangled Banner playing.

"Steve?" he asked, answering it. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Actually, yes. We could use you over at the Tower. Did you know Clint has a brother who's in town?"

Rhodey shook his head and turned the helicopter around. Dysfunctional family Thanksgiving indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this far than you _might_ be a Rhodey/Tony fan, in which case you might be interested in [these scans](http://marvel-slash.livejournal.com/411253.html) ^_^


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